Trip mornings at camp are busy and often hectic. It takes a good bit of work and organization to get 280 campers and 56 counselors out into the wilderness. Often I wake up on those mornings with not only a list of things to get done, but in the process of getting those things checked off, lots of other tasks that surface. On one particular morning I woke up overwhelmed by the morning's tasks. I packed my stuff for the senior trip, drove the van into camp for the cavers, filled it with gas, emptied out the paddles and pfd's. Having emptied the pfd's on the floor of the trips garage I stood there staring at them thinking, I ought to hang these up now, but if I do I won't get any time with God before the morning staff meeting. Then it occurred to me what people might think of me for leaving pfd's on the floor. "How come he's too lazy to put away the pfd's correctly when he's always requiring of us to get things put away correctly?" "How could he be so irresponsible?" I was caught in a dangerous pattern of thinking.
So have you ever been in a situation much like this one? Has your concern for what people think and your worry about how they might perceive your actions ever dictated the decisions you made?
I was almost tempted to hang them up, but by God's grace I left the pfd's for a little later. Realizing how much I had already given in to anxious toil that morning I went to a quiet place to spend some time with Jesus. My reading that July morning happened to include a story about Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. Like Martha I was distracted with much serving. Distracted from what? Jesus tells her later that she is anxious and troubled about many things, when one thing is necessary. The most necessary thing in all of life, be it hanging pfd's or hosting a dinner party for Jesus and the disciples, is to stay in right relationship to Jesus Christ. When we get out of sorts because we are worried about getting things done, or about other people's thoughts and actions, our vital connection to Jesus is disturbed. As that connection is disturbed joy and peace are lost and loving others well becomes an impossibility.
This past fall I was traveling overseas with a great man of faith and pioneer of missions. Greg has traveled all over the world and has a passport 8 times thicker than my own. At one point in the journey we had to buy some train tickets. He handed me his passport to go buy the tickets, then asked for it back, looked at it and said, "Oops, I grabbed the wrong passport". He explained that this was his expired passport. I started to be very concerned, picturing us being detained by authorities, and getting into all sorts of trouble. Then he said to me, "Do you know what the hardest command in the Bible to obey is?" I looked at him dumbfounded. "Do not be anxious about anything". With a little more than a hint of annoyance and a very real lack of faith I answered, "I'll keep that in mind". Then he said, with way to much nonchalance for my comfort, "We'll pray that the authorities have blind eyes." And so off we went to go deeper into this foreign country with an expired passport.
I appreciate in those moments that God continues to challenge and push me to trust Him in every circumstance. Greg and I encountered nothing but the amazing fingerprint of God on everything we did, and for him it was no surprise. However, for me, it was another great lesson in keeping an undisturbed connection to Jesus Christ. I'm reminded of Paul's words to the Philippians 4. He says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Greg was right, not being anxious is very difficult. He also was right to pray, indeed that is exactly how Paul tells us to deal with our anxieties and worries, to immediately stop and to re-establish that vital connection to Jesus Christ through prayer.
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